Set Your Relationship Up For Success With Clear Goals
With this blog you’ll learn how to manage wealth goals as a couple. When you first get into a relationship, you probably aren’t, and shouldn’t be sharing your finances. At least until you get to know the person you’re dating over at a few months at minimum. It takes time to understand someone’s work ethic, spending habits, and their money management.
My boyfriend, Jacob and I, moved quickly when it came to finances and decided to combine our expenses early on. Now thankfully, this was no issue because we had those hard money conversations virtually from the start. So in this mini blog, I give you my best tips for introducing those types of conversations as well as red flags to steer clear of.
As I said above, Jacob and I spoke about our dreams and goals on our first date but I know that isn’t common in some relationships. You may have a partner that doesn’t like to talk about money or avoids communication altogether. I challenge you to open the door to these types of conversations as early on as possible. At the end of the day, if you can’t do the things that are important to each one of you and work as a team to get closer to them, you’re setting yourself up for a very hard relationship.
There are some main topics i suggest talking about early on to ensure you’re compatible financially. Below is a list of key points to hit on when talking about wealth goals as a couple .
Everything About Your Wealth Goals
- How much money are you both bringing in? Is this income consistent month to month? Are the jobs you’re working jobs you’re wanting to stay at for awhile? Do either of you want to change jobs or careers in the near future?
- What are your total monthly expenses? Do they make sense to you? How much money do you each have left over after bills each month?
Bonus – Let say your partner spends $1000 a month on eating out and this number sounds absolutely ridiculous to you. Do you think it’s worth having a conversation about? Will it bother you over time?
- What debts are you carrying and bringing into the relationship? What debt might you acquire together?
- How much do you both have in savings currently? How much money are you able to put into savings each month? What are your savings goals?
Bonus – Splitting savings and expenses can be frustrating if you don’t start out the right way. Traditionally one person shouldn’t carry all the weight to make sure the lights stay on but in certain situations this works for couples. Try to figure out what works best for your relationship and keep in mind you can change it at any time. Just keep communication at the forefront of your relationship and realize you’re on the same team.
- What goals do you have for the future? Are there schooling expenses? Will changing careers involve a pay cut or gap in pay? What big purchases are in your future? (new car, tires, down payment on a house, move in expenses etc) What dreams do you have?
The Order To Manage Your Money
Paying off debt should be just as important as saving towards new goals. After you’ve paid off you’re debts, saving for an emergency fun is the next goal you’ll want to hit together. I suggest 3-6 months of your income as a rainy day fund. You never know what life might throw your way and with a comfortable savings, money won’t be an extra stressors on your relationship. After paying off debt and saving for an emergency fund, then you can focus on excelling towards your goals independently and together.
Laying everything out early on sets a great president for how you’ll manage your money throughout your relationship. If you can understand your wealth goals as a couple, you can set a solid foundation for your relationship as well.
Saving And Following A Budget
If money is tight or you’re working towards a big savings goal, make sure you and your partner know the budget you’re following. The last thing you want is your partner to make a huge purchase and leave you guys scrambling for money. In the contrary, it’s important as well to refrain from nagging your partner all the time. I promise you by having open communication that is guilt free, you and your partner will both feel less stress around money and will feel more open being honest. Include savings in your monthly budget so you’re completely clear about your goals and progress.
No matter the savings goal, putting money aside should be the first thing you do after you pay your bills. This way you don’t spend money you were wanting to save. I recommend setting a monthly goal for each of you with how much you want to contribute to savings. If you’re sharing a bank account, consider opening a high yield savings account to maximize your joint savings.
Prioritizing Personal Goals
It doesn’t matter how close you are with your partner, it’s extremely important to prioritize yourself in addition to your partner and your relationship as a whole. I can speak from experience, it will only build resentment if you completely restrict yourself from spending money on yourself. Let’s say you have a coarse or big purchase you want to make. Talk to your partner about it letting them know it’s something you’re wanting to do and make a savings plan for how you can afford it. Since you already have open communication at this point, conversations like this will be easy and actually exciting to share with someone else.
Celebrating Your Wins
When you and your partner hit financial milestones, take time to celebrate those wins. When my boyfriend and I hit a goal we plan a date night or purchase something we both have been wanting. A weekend trip, a new TV, a nice dinner, just something we can share and congratulate ourselves on reaching a goal. This strengthens the team mentality of your relationship.
Overall, understanding your partner’s’ financial goals as well as your own will reveal so much about your future together as well as your compatibility. There should be an open line of communication around all things money. Although we may think money is linear, like all things in life it ebbs and flows. These tips will prepare you for whatever life may throw your way. Again, remember that your wealth goals as a couple should be tackled as a team and you should support each other’s goals as a team as well.
Until next time, Best regards,
Lauren Elizabeth.